That stings a little

Last night I had the most amazing dream...and then I woke up to my painful reality. I dreamed I had just given birth to a beautiful baby boy. He was perfect in every way and I fell in love with him instantly. I had no fear, no regrets. *Sometimes I worry that I am so caught up in this that it may not even be what I want.* But I feel like any doubts I had are gone now.

The worst part was waking up. I knew once I got out of bed he would be gone. My heart broke all over again.

Sigh. I feel like as soon as I make any progress I take a giant step back.