Open letter to my uterus

Dear Uterus,
I know we haven't spoken much over the years, so I can understand why you feel the need to make a grand entrance. However, that's not my fault - you should really blame the ovaries for our lack of communication. Anyway, I know that you are there so you can calm down now. In fact, if you don't calm the fuck down real soon, I'll be forced to quiet you with copious amounts of alcohol. But then I'll have to deal with my head who has also been a real bitch lately.

I'm sure you get lonely in there, but I am working on that, so bear with me. In the mean time, kindly go away.

Love,
A